I expected the hard work that goes along with it. This was particularly hard, since I have not consistently done any school work since 2001. However, what I didn't expect were all the other things that come along with first semesters in grad school.
I can only assume that other people would have the same reactions to many aspects of grad school. For those people, and for others like me who are entering grad school soon, here is what to expect for your first semester of grad school:
1. Sleep - your sleep patterns will become as off and strange as you could ever expect them to be. If you have class at night, you will spend your days sleeping late and working on homework until you feel just crazed enough to actually go and shower and get dressed. If you have class during the day, you will stay up extremely late working on your assignments, get up early for class and then take a nap after you are finished with class.
Don't beat yourself up about your sleep patterns. Sleeping late or taking naps at odd times does not make you a lazy person, it just makes you a crazed grad student.
2. Spending Money - There are two distinct roads you can take with this. One road is that money will become a paranoia. With your mounting loan debt, you think about and analyze every purchase. That dollar you used to lovingly give to the homeless man on the corner becomes a moment of pause when you touch the dollar and think how you might need it more. Sad, but true. The second road is that you go nuts and decide that with all the loan debt you might as well just keep digging yourself into the debt hole. "Yes, I need a new sweater for my writing class....yes, I need to go to that concert." It all makes complete sense.
3. TV - You will see all the bad television you could ever want during grad school. Your schedule is so unstable that more often than not you find yourself at 11pm watching your second Lifetime movie of the day. Or you make the glorious discovery that they still show Trapper John M.D. at 7am. Television becomes an occasional reward of sorts for all your hard school work. While your face is shoved in front of a computer screen for hours a day, any mindless distraction is lovely.
4. Appearance - While your days of wearing pajamas to class should be gone, your days of wearing pajamas all day in your apartment/house as you do homework are here with a force. You will also notice a new love of messy hair. Also, even in your darkest hours of frustration with homework and term papers, you should at least act like you care what you look like when you roll into class. This is grad school, not your freshman American History class. Leave the pajamas and flip flops where they belong. Hey, you could give them to that homeless man on the corner. Since, you were a jerk and wouldn't give him a dollar.
5. Relationships - Be prepared for these to change, too. Not in a bad way necessarily, but just an adjustment. Chances are you will not be on the same time table as your friends anymore. While they are planning to go to a party on Thursday night, you are trying to finish that last minute assignment you forgot to do. And, while you are crying softly over the stress of finishing your 20-page term paper, your friends are talking about the latest episode of "Law and Order: SVU." (you can watch it on hulu.com later at 3am when the tears have stopped and your mind is fried) Also, bear in mind that not all of your friends will understand that your studies have to come first sometimes. Just be patient and explain that you are spending thousands of dollars on graduate education, so your focus needs to be there.
On the flip side of this, you cannot neglect your friendships you had long before you stepped a foot in the door of graduate education. Take some time out every once in a while to foster the relationships you already had. Those are the ones that hopefully will still be there to support you when you are going crazy.
6. Being Good To Yourself - Grad school is new to you. It is a completely new arena you have to master. The thing a lot of people don't realize (I didn't...and still don't sometimes) is that everyone else you are in class with is going through the same things you are. They are trying to find their place in the grad school world. They are feeling threatened by some people in their classes and feeling smarter than others. Don't beat yourself up about the things you are going through and the frustrations you have. You will learn and what was new to you will soon become your norm.
So...reward yourself. If you have made it past a particularly bad semester or hard paper or test...reward yourself. Go out with your friends to see a movie for fun, instead of one that you have to watch. Go get a good class of wine with your significant other and talk about how jammy and woodsy it is (aka - just make up words to make yourself feel like you know what you are talking about). Read a book just because you like the cover, not because you were required to read it. Buy a new pair of shoes or new pajamas or a prostitute...ok, strike that...maybe just pajamas with prostitutes on them. They sell those, right?
The point is that grad school is tough. It is not like undergrad where you can just phone in a lot of the time. You have to work hard and stay on top of stuff, even when you hate it...a lot. It will be worth it in the end. At least that is what my advisor tells me.
1 comments:
It's true--it is worth it in the end! It is one of those experiences that you won't regret, but you will rejoice that it is over. You will also be pretty darned proud of yourself for making it through. Hang in there!
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